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You can only use this effect of "Dinowrestler Eskrimamenchi" once per turn

It is clearly underpowered and I would likely have realized this if I spent any time thinking about what this would look like at two mana

Then, you can win when you have twenty shinies

Otherwise, we squeeze in three copies of Faithful Mending by trimming Lantern Bearer, Borrowed Time, and Cradle of Safety, while also adding a couple of copies of Paladin Class to the sideboard as a cheap enchantment that offers some value against both control (taxing counters) and creature decks (growing our team)

The extra abilities are just gravy

The mana sink and sacrifice ability put King Darien XLVIII close to EDH staple territory for token decks